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I HAVE TO GET SOME SLEEP OR I WILL CRASH

and I am so scared of how big of a crash this one will be.

How do I know this is might become THE BIG ONE? My memory is super compromised on present things right now.

It’s just…I understand everything completely. Fellow bipolar, you may be the only ones who will understand what this is like. With absolute clarity, I understand the universe. My mind isn’t just blown, It’s the hindenburg + hiroshima + nagasaki + San Francisco earthquake + rock concert where the music is so loud your eardrums are bleeding

Like the equivalencies of when humans discovered fire but not as big as the Big Bang

And that’s why someone said (see memory fail right here):

**** QUICK GET ME A PEN AND PAPER I MUST WRITE THIS DOWN BEFORE I FORGET THIS IDEA WILL NEVER RE-EMERGE BECAUSE MY MEMORY IS FAILING*

ergo my brain is saying:

“I HAVE SO MUCH **** TO DO BECAUSE I HAVE TO TELL PEOPLE SLEEPING IS USELNESS WHY ARE YOU BLOODY SLEEPING THAT’S SUCH A WASTE OF TIME THIS IS MORE IMPORTANT YOU HAVE FINALLY CONNECTED THE DOTS AND YOU’RE GOING TO LET IT SLIP AWAY **** I BET IF YOU WROTE THE WHOLE THING DOWN YOU COULD GET A FREAKIN NOBEL PEACE PRIZE IN ALL THE BLOODY CATEGORIES GAWD WHY HAVEN’T WE EVOLVED TO NOT NEED SLEEP LIKE WE HAVE **** TO DO AND LIMITED TIME AND MOST OF IT IS SPENT LYING DOWN JUST BREATHING I MEAN I CAN DO ALL THE LYING DOWN I NEED WHEN I’M DEAD (but not breathing) BREATHING IS SO FREAKIN OVERRATED I SHOULD BE ABLE TO EXIST IN SPACE IN A VACCUM I MEAN IF THE BLOODY MOON CAN DO IT WHY CAN’T I THE MOON IS JUST MADE OF CHEESE ANYWAYS HOLY ****ING **** TWAT MOTHER****ER MERDE TABERNACLE AI YAAAAA I HAVE NEVER SWORN SO MUCH BECAUSE I ‘WASTED’ 4 YEARS AND IT HAS CULMINATED INTO THIS ONE POINT AND YOU ARE PROBABLY NOT GOING TO REMEMBER ALL OF IT TOMORROW LIKE ****ING HELL SOME PEOPLE HAVE TO DEVOTE THEIR WHOLE LIVES TO GET A PHD IN ORDER TO MAKE A DISCOVERY THAT ADDS THIS TINY LITTLE INFITISIMAL SPECK IN PROGRESS AND YOU HAVE FIGURED OUT EVERY BLOODY THING IN THE SPAN OF 48 HOURS

and that is why another someone (memory fail #1291) said:

You either get it down on paper or you go crazy

This is a transcription from a screenshot of text posted on the Twitter account of @justiceforelisa. Although the name on the account says “Elisa Lam,” this is a dedication or memorial Twitter page. These screenshots will be linked up with actual pages on Elisa Lam’s Tumblr page soon.

 

See Graphic

“I spent about two days in bed hating myself.
Why don’t I simply do the things that I know will make me feel better?
It isn’t rocket science. It isn’t that difficult. Get out of bed. Eat. See people. Talk to people. Exercise. Write. Read. “

“Things are going fairly well in that I’m leaving the house and got myself a part time job. My room is still a mess. I haven’t actually done any school work and I berate myself for being suck a lazy person.”

I feel I am wasting my time compared to my fellow peers. I had a relapse at the start of the term and had to drop 2 of the 3 courses I was taking. Now I am down to one course and I have missed 3 weeks of classes since my sleeping patter is completely reversed.”

“I haven’t felt ‘fine’ in over 3 years. This relapse makes me feel as though I haven’t made any progress at all.”

I’m very disappointed in myself for breaking down during the term forcing me to withdraw from courses. I’ve been at university for 3 years and I’ve only managed to complete three courses. That means I’ve been a first year for three years and this September it will be for the fourth year because I require 30 credits in order for second year status.”

“I just wish… someone around me could understand what it really means to be depressed.”

This is a transcription from a screenshot of text posted on the Twitter account of @justiceforelisa. Although the name on the account says “Elisa Lam,” this is a dedication or memorial Twitter page. These screenshots will be linked up with actual pages on Elisa Lam’s Tumblr page soon.

 

Elisa Lam’s Tumblr – Video Post – April 2013

Screenshot of Page Reload showing conversation.
Unseen when page is fully loaded.
Embed of Tumblr Post – March 2013

 

It appears that Elisa Lam, or someone using her account, made a post to her Tumblr account after she was already dead. Elisa may have scheduled the post prior to her passing.

NOTE: The page with this entry will not load in a normal browser window. I’m not sure why the embed is working. I recorded the entry as it was refreshing and caught this. (see screenshot)

What was the exact date this was reblogged by the nouvelle-nouveau account?

What was the exact date that @lampfaced made the original post?


Find original audio. Explain the “joke.”

* Requires followup.

 

 


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